Thursday, December 9, 2010

My sweet dream.

I had the most amazing dream last night and I wanted to share it on here because I never want to forget it. It seemed so real.

I was back at the hospital and I had just had Melody and Madison we were not sure how long they would live so we were just spending as much time with them as we could. The whole room was decorated for Christmas because we didn't know how long they were going to live and in my dream we wanted to spend Christmas with them.
I remember putting them on my chest and I could feel their heart beating I remember how warm they felt and how alive they were.

I left the hospital at one point in my dream and went somewhere random then I came back because I was afraid I was overdoing it after my csection when I walked in the room I just knew they were going to be dead but they weren't they were alive. So I picked them up and they started to cry! I did skin to skin and put pacifier's in their mouths. That didn't help so I tried nursing which didn't work so I asked for a pump.

This was by far the most amazing dream I have ever had. It seemed so real that looking back on it I can't believe it was a dream.

If anything this dream reminds me how faithful God is. That dream is most likely how I would have wanted things to go the day Melody and Madison were born but that was not reality God had a bigger plan that may not have been exactly what I thought I wanted but I assure you I wouldn't change the way things went if I could. Even though that sounds crazy I know that God is perfect and I am not I am a selfish sinner saved by grace. I would mess everything up if I was in control.

I am so thankful that God is on the throne and I am not.
I am so thankful that Melody and Madison were born alive.
I am so thankful that I got to watch their heart beating.
I am so thankful that my babies died peacefully in my arms.
I am so thankful that we had our amazing photographer there taking over 900 pictures of our girls.
I am so thankful that we were surrounded by our family and friends.
I am so thankful that we got to watch other people loving on our girls.
I am thankful for the peace that God provided all day and night until everyone had left and I finally lost it.
I am thankful for the most peaceful nights sleep that night they died. I had not slept that well in a very long time.
I am thankful for my husband! Words could never express how much he means to me and how much he helped me during everything we went through.
I am thankful that God allowed Jason and I to be Melody and Madison's parents here on Earth.

Most of all I am thankful that we will get to one day see them again but more importantly we will get to see God and forever worship our great God and king!

If you do not have the hope of having your sins forgiven and spending all of eternity with our great God and savior please click here to learn more about how you can be born again.

If you have been through something and you can not for the life of you figure out how God can be good and still allow suffering I highly recommend Suffering and the Sovereignty of God by John Piper and Justin Taylor. You can download it for free here or buy the book here.

A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death than the day of birth.
It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Black Friday shopping and my early Christmas gift!!!

I love taking pictures and I have for as long as I can remember. In my teenage years I was always buying the disposable cameras from Wal*Mart. Then the year Jason and I got engaged he bought me my first digital camera. I was so excited! All of those camera's worked great for what I wanted and needed at the time but since I was in high school I have wanted a Canon Rebel. I never really thought I would get one but much to my surprise my husband and I were talking the day before Thanksgiving and we decided Black Friday would be a great time to get the camera I have always wanted.

We were at Jason's parents house for Thanksgiving so I was rallying the troops to see who wanted to go Black Friday shopping with me. Jason's Mom was really the only one excited to go so we set our sights on waking up at 4am to head to Wal * Mart and retrieve my dream camera.

The day after Thanksgiving Jason's brother decided to go with us and just before we left the house Judah woke up which woke Jason up and he also decided he wanted to come along. So Jason's Mom, Brother (Uncle Toe Toe), baby Judah and myself all loaded up in the jeep at 4:15 in the morning in 29 degree weather in hopes to snag a Canon!

We got to Wal*Mart and checked to see how many camera's that had at that store and much to my surprise they had 4 ahhhhh my hopes could soon be crushed seeing as how we were the 150th person in line...
So we waited and waited and waited and waited and waited..... Then I over heard a girl behind me tell one of her friends she thought you could order some of the camera's online and so the search was on. My phone wasn't working very well so I got on Jason's brothers iPhone (which I had no clue how to use) and started the process to order my camera. We stayed in line just in case it was out of stock online. By this point we had been standing in line for over an hour.

I kept at it though and after 45 minutes on the iPhone I ordered my CAMERA or should I say our camera because it really is the family camera :)

We happily hopped out of line (I may have been the only happy one at this point ha) and headed to the outlet mall to do some more Black Friday shopping.

Below are a few of my favorite pictures I took the first day I got my camera. I think I took over 500 pictures just in one day. Hopefully my family doesn't get sick of me taking pictures cause I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.

This is the very first picture I took with my new camera.
I love his eyes!

I have a new found respect for all my friends who are photographers
I took hundreds of pictures and only ended up with a few I really liked.

Judah is such a big boy at 10 months old
he can stand up by himself for quite a while.

Out of all the pictures I took this one is my very favorite of Judah!

And this one is my very favorite picture of Kenya.