home study update

Check out our adoption blog for an update. Normally I will just update the adoption blog and not post it on here but I just wanted to send out this little reminder :)

On a side note...

Thank you to the person who was looking out for us and told me our bio talks about us adopting. I just wanted to clear up what I meant when I said we can't talk about it. Here is what we are not allowed to do... we can't say where he is from, what his name is and we can't post a picture other then that we are good to go. I will be keeping up with the adoption blog so y'all can join us on this journey I just wont post any of those things above.

Thanks again,

Vanessa

Please Read! New New Plan

I just found out that we have to stop talking about pursuing Baby A until we have been approved by a social worker and have an official commitment to his adoption. The reason is it puts him on a "virtual hold". Thank you all for your understanding. I am new to all of this and I want to make sure we are doing things right!


If you have posted a blog about us being his parents or about us trying to adopt him please take it down ASAP. We don't want to do anything that could jeopardize anyone's chances of getting him.

Since the beginning we have said we don't want to compete for the Baby. We love him and would love to adopt him but it is our desire to see him adopted into a loving family who will teach him about Jesus even if it's not ours.

I hope all of this makes since.

Thank you guys for understanding!

Vanessa

Playing in the snow

We had a crazy snow storm come in early this morning so we decided to take advantage if it and go play in the snow.

I am just blown away by the beauty of God's creation!

Happy 1st Birthday Judah

Today is Judah's first birthday and I can not believe how fast this last year has flown by!

Here are a few pictures from the birthday party we had for him last week. I am hoping to post a longer blog later on this week but for now this will have to do.

Kenya and Judah's wrestling match

My sweet dream.

I had the most amazing dream last night and I wanted to share it on here because I never want to forget it. It seemed so real.

I was back at the hospital and I had just had Melody and Madison we were not sure how long they would live so we were just spending as much time with them as we could. The whole room was decorated for Christmas because we didn't know how long they were going to live and in my dream we wanted to spend Christmas with them.

I remember putting them on my chest and I could feel their heart beating I remember how warm they felt and how alive they were.

I left the hospital at one point in my dream and went somewhere random then I came back because I was afraid I was overdoing it after my csection when I walked in the room I just knew they were going to be dead but they weren't they were alive. So I picked them up and they started to cry! I did skin to skin and put pacifier's in their mouths. That didn't help so I tried nursing which didn't work so I asked for a pump.

This was by far the most amazing dream I have ever had. It seemed so real that looking back on it I can't believe it was a dream.

If anything this dream reminds me how faithful God is. That dream is most likely how I would have wanted things to go the day Melody and Madison were born but that was not reality God had a bigger plan that may not have been exactly what I thought I wanted but I assure you I wouldn't change the way things went if I could. Even though that sounds crazy I know that God is perfect and I am not I am a selfish sinner saved by grace. I would mess everything up if I was in control.

I am so thankful that God is on the throne and I am not.

I am so thankful that Melody and Madison were born alive.

I am so thankful that I got to watch their heart beating.

I am so thankful that my babies died peacefully in my arms.

I am so thankful that we had our amazing photographer there taking over 900 pictures of our girls.

I am so thankful that we were surrounded by our family and friends.

I am so thankful that we got to watch other people loving on our girls.

I am thankful for the peace that God provided all day and night until everyone had left and I finally lost it.

I am thankful for the most peaceful nights sleep that night they died. I had not slept that well in a very long time.

I am thankful for my husband! Words could never express how much he means to me and how much he helped me during everything we went through.

I am thankful that God allowed Jason and I to be Melody and Madison's parents here on Earth.

Most of all I am thankful that we will get to one day see them again but more importantly we will get to see God and forever worship our great God and king!

If you do not have the hope of having your sins forgiven and spending all of eternity with our great God and savior please click here to learn more about how you can be born again.

If you have been through something and you can not for the life of you figure out how God can be good and still allow suffering I highly recommend Suffering and the Sovereignty of God by John Piper and Justin Taylor. You can download it for free here or buy the book here.

A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death than the day of birth.

It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other

Ecclesiastes7:14a

Black Friday shopping and my early Christmas gift!!!

I love taking pictures and I have for as long as I can remember. In my teenage years I was always buying the disposable cameras from Wal*Mart. Then the year Jason and I got engaged he bought me my first digital camera. I was so excited! All of those camera's worked great for what I wanted and needed at the time but since I was in high school I have wanted a Canon Rebel. I never really thought I would get one but much to my surprise my husband and I were talking the day before Thanksgiving and we decided Black Friday would be a great time to get the camera I have always wanted.

We were at Jason's parents house for Thanksgiving so I was rallying the troops to see who wanted to go Black Friday shopping with me. Jason's Mom was really the only one excited to go so we set our sights on waking up at 4am to head to Wal * Mart and retrieve my dream camera.

The day after Thanksgiving Jason's brother decided to go with us and just before we left the house Judah woke up which woke Jason up and he also decided he wanted to come along. So Jason's Mom, Brother (Uncle Toe Toe), baby Judah and myself all loaded up in the jeep at 4:15 in the morning in 29 degree weather in hopes to snag a Canon!

We got to Wal*Mart and checked to see how many camera's that had at that store and much to my surprise they had 4 ahhhhh my hopes could soon be crushed seeing as how we were the 150th person in line...

So we waited and waited and waited and waited and waited..... Then I over heard a girl behind me tell one of her friends she thought you could order some of the camera's online and so the search was on. My phone wasn't working very well so I got on Jason's brothers iPhone (which I had no clue how to use) and started the process to order my camera. We stayed in line just in case it was out of stock online. By this point we had been standing in line for over an hour.

I kept at it though and after 45 minutes on the iPhone I ordered my CAMERA or should I say our camera because it really is the family camera :)

We happily hopped out of line (I may have been the only happy one at this point ha) and headed to the outlet mall to do some more Black Friday shopping.

Below are a few of my favorite pictures I took the first day I got my camera. I think I took over 500 pictures just in one day. Hopefully my family doesn't get sick of me taking pictures cause I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.

This is the very first picture I took with my new camera.

I love his eyes!

I have a new found respect for all my friends who are photographers

I took hundreds of pictures and only ended up with a few I really liked.

Judah is such a big boy at 10 months old

he can stand up by himself for quite a while.

Out of all the pictures I took this one is my very favorite of Judah!

And this one is my very favorite picture of Kenya.

Judah showing off his signing skillz!

My Girls Funeral/Burial: 2 Years Ago

2 years ago I attended the funeral and saw my two girls get buried,...here was the original announcement I made:

_______________________

We invite you to

attend the funeral

in loving memory of

Melody Joy & Madison Hope Delgado

Monday, November 17, 2008

Memorial service @ Heritage Church of Christ in Keller @ 10AM

Graveside Service immediately following @ Bourland Cemetery

Fellowship and food immediately following @ Church of Christ in Keller

_______________________

Last year I posted a walk through of that event through pictures and captions. You can find that below:

_______________________

I just posted on my Facebook my favorite pictures with memories from what happened this day last year, I've been meaning to do this for a year now, but it was just to hard to look at some of these pics before:

Melody Joy & Madison Hope's Funeral/Burial

November 17, 2008

Photography graciously done by Margaret Lake:

www.mlakephotography.com

Location: Sovereign Joy Community Church in Keller, TX.

_______________________

2 years later and it is still hard to look at some of these...

I also forgot that we never posted this video that our friend Trish took and pieced together parts of the funeral and burial.

Towards the middle of the video you will find the part where we were singing "It Is Well With My Soul"... most people singing with tears... then Keith (the man leading) broke out (unplanned) into "How Great Thou Art"... it was one of the most bittersweet, sadly triumphant times of my life... I don't except any non-Christian to understand why.

jason d.

A few videos of Melody Joy and Madison Hope

Here is a video of us right before Melody and Madison were born.
For some reason I could not figure out how to talk clearly or smile correctly.

Glory be to God alone Melody and Madison were born alive! If you turn up your volume and listen at the 8 second mark you will here Melody make a noise. It blesses me so much to hear that since they never cried.

Here is sweet little Kenya loving on her sisters.
I can't believe how little she was. Her voice is so cute!

I love this video of Kenya singing to her sisters!





I am so thankful for these videos!
Vanessa