My sweet girl and her tender heart...

Kenya talks about Melody and Madison a lot. Sometimes she ask us why they are not here and sometimes she says, "But I didn't want them to die." but that's about as far as it goes. I can never remember her crying because they died or every being really sad about it but that all changed a few nights ago.

The day before yesterday Kenya told me that she really missed her sisters and she broke down in tears. We talked about her sisters and I prayed for God to comfort Kenya as she was missing them. We talked about how exciting it will be to get to see them again in Heaven. Then she was ready to move on and I thought that was the end of it.

Last night after Kenya was supposed to be asleep she came out into the living room burst into tears and said "But I didn't want my sisters to die!" She came over to me and I held her as she cried and talked about her sisters. She said that she just wanted to go to Heaven so she could be with her sisters. I told her how exciting that day will be and one day it will come but for right now we want to live our lives and enjoy being here while we are still alive. We talked for a long time and I prayed for her and loved one her. She just cried and cried and cried. I will tell you right now that holding your 5 year old as she cries herself to sleep because she misses her sisters is a lot harder than missing them yourself. Kenya and I both ended up falling asleep on the couch after we were done talking about her sisters.

She seems to be getting sad about them at bed time so I was trying to think of something tonight that would help her and I remembered we had a lot of toys that remind us of the girls. So I went through the whole house and found them all. I put them in her room and told her the toys would help her to remember her sisters and she could snuggle with them all. Here she is getting ready to go to sleep with all of them.

We got these Zebras at Kenya's baby shower and after we had the twins Kenya started calling them Melody and Madison. So these remind her of her sisters.

My friend Laura brought these lambs to the girls funeral I thought they were a  really sweet and thoughtful gift. These are Kenya's Melody and Madison lambs.  

Jason and I hot glued two baby dolls together when I was pregnant with Melody and Madison to try to prepare Kenya for when she met her sisters. HERE is the original post I wrote about the dolls. She loved them and still does. She still plays with them and she tells her friends they are her Melody and Madison dolls and they are stuck together like her sisters. 

Wita (Jason's Mom) got these panda bears for Kenya at the San Diego Zoo because they reminded her of the girls. Kenya fell asleep holding them tonight.

Here is Kenya loving on her sisters the day they were born.

Kenya was really excited to go to sleep with all of the things that reminded her of her sisters. She fell right to sleep with out a single tear. I love her so much and it is so hard to watch her be in pain knowing there is nothing I can do to fix it. I am so glad that she talks about her sisters and they are still a super important part of our family.

Melody and Madison we will miss you until we get to see you again but I am rejoicing knowing that you have been made whole in Heaven!

three years ago...

Three years ago today we met our babies Melody Joy and Madison Hope...

then one hour later they met Jesus.

The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21

My Girls Funeral/Burial: 2 Years Ago

2 years ago I attended the funeral and saw my two girls get buried,...here was the original announcement I made:

_______________________

We invite you to

attend the funeral

in loving memory of

Melody Joy & Madison Hope Delgado

Monday, November 17, 2008

Memorial service @ Heritage Church of Christ in Keller @ 10AM

Graveside Service immediately following @ Bourland Cemetery

Fellowship and food immediately following @ Church of Christ in Keller

_______________________

Last year I posted a walk through of that event through pictures and captions. You can find that below:

_______________________

I just posted on my Facebook my favorite pictures with memories from what happened this day last year, I've been meaning to do this for a year now, but it was just to hard to look at some of these pics before:

Melody Joy & Madison Hope's Funeral/Burial

November 17, 2008

Photography graciously done by Margaret Lake:

www.mlakephotography.com

Location: Sovereign Joy Community Church in Keller, TX.

_______________________

2 years later and it is still hard to look at some of these...

I also forgot that we never posted this video that our friend Trish took and pieced together parts of the funeral and burial.

Towards the middle of the video you will find the part where we were singing "It Is Well With My Soul"... most people singing with tears... then Keith (the man leading) broke out (unplanned) into "How Great Thou Art"... it was one of the most bittersweet, sadly triumphant times of my life... I don't except any non-Christian to understand why.

jason d.

A few videos of Melody Joy and Madison Hope

Here is a video of us right before Melody and Madison were born.
For some reason I could not figure out how to talk clearly or smile correctly.

Glory be to God alone Melody and Madison were born alive! If you turn up your volume and listen at the 8 second mark you will here Melody make a noise. It blesses me so much to hear that since they never cried.

Here is sweet little Kenya loving on her sisters.
I can't believe how little she was. Her voice is so cute!

I love this video of Kenya singing to her sisters!





I am so thankful for these videos!
Vanessa

Flash back Friday/ The moment we found out we were having twins!

I have not done a Flash Back Friday in so long. But I was looking back at a lot of the blogs I had written about Melody and Madison and when I found this one I knew I had to re-share it.

As I watched this video of the exact moment we found out we were having twins I was filled with so many emotions. I was just remembering that exact moment in time, we didn't have a care in the world. We had just found out the most exciting news ever and we were all rejoicing.

It seems like there was life before we found out we were having conjoined twins and life after. I don't really know how to explain it but I feel like God used what we went through with the girls to change us and draw us closer to Him. I am not the same person I was before I found out about our girls. Life is just different now but not in a bad way at all.

I cried my eyes out watching this just remembering what all I said in the moments after the video stopped. I was telling everyone in the room I know the exact car seat I want to buy (we still had one from Kenya) I kept thinking of our future with twins. This video is the only moment in time I have ever been able to say "we are having twins" and have nothing but amazing exciting feelings. Because it was only a few minutes later we found out that our babies were conjoined. Don't get me wrong I was still so excited to be having twins but after we found out they were conjoined I had a flood of emotions any time I said were having twins because I knew I had to follow it up with "but I need you to pray because they are conjoined."

I cried watching this video because I remember how excited I was that we were having twins, I cried because I remember how it felt the moment my midwife told me they were conjoined, I cried because my babies were alive in this video and their future was still uncertain, I cried as I remembered how faithful God was to us, I cried because I miss my babies and I cried because I am so thankful that we didn't have to walk through this trial alone.

God allowed us to go through that trial for our good and his glory and for that I am thankful! Romans 8:28

Vanessa

----------------
ORIGINAL POST

Jason was recording the exact moment we found out that we were having twins! We were so excited and still are.



We are so thankful that God blessed us with Melody Joy and Madison Hope. We are still so excited to be having twins this is something that I have always wanted and I'm truly blessed that God gave Melody and Madison to us. We pray that He would be glorified through their lives and ours.

Jason and I have been memorizing Romans 5: 3-5 so I wanted to share it with you all:

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:3-5)

I remember the moment it hit me... I looked at Jason and said "in light of eternity this is nothing." Now don't get me wrong this is a huge deal, Jason and I are dealing with the possibility of losing not one but two children. This even more makes us long for Heaven, a place were there will be no more pain or suffering, were God Himself wipes away our tears (Revelation 7:17; 21:4). It is like Paul said: For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18)

This is the importance of having a eternal perspective, knowing that God has a purpose in this suffering and will ultimately use it for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28).

Remember what happened with Job after his children were killed, his servants got killed, and other bad things happened to him (Job 1).

So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes. Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die." But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
(Job 2:7-10)

Should we take the good and not bad? Of course not. So we will continue to praise His name because He is so worthy of all our praise, because He is God!

A little box

There is a little box in the top of our closet that the hospital gave us after the twins died. I see it all the time but tonight I decided to open it and take some time to remember my girls. As I opened the box I was flooded with so many emotions. It was like I was transported right back to November 11th 2008 the day I met and lost my babies.

As I dug through all of my girls belongings I had forgotten so many things that were in there. I pulled out their booger sucker, their hospital bracelets, the sweetest most encouraging cards ever, I pulled out the little post card that was on the door of our hospital so that everyone who came in would know we had lost a child, it wasn't until I got to their shirts that were still buttoned together that I lost it. I realized I often go through life not thinking about the fact that we really had conjoined twins, they really died and I really have 2 babies in heaven. Kenya is really a big sister to three little siblings not just one, Judah really is a little brother to three big sisters not just one, I really buried two of my kids and walked away leaving their tiny little bodies in the ground still stuck together, I really have four children not two, I am a Mom to 2 perfectly healthy children and 2 children made whole in Heaven.

God really allowed us to walk through that trial with His help and for His glory alone. Jason really experienced all of those things right alongside of me and made sure that I was okay before ever thinking of himself. We really, really, really were and still are the parents to conjoined twin girls made whole in heaven and for all of that I am thankful! A little box in the top of my closet reminds me (as my friend Kristy said) that God is sovereign over suffering and He is still good!

Margaret's hospital pictures/ Happy Birthday

Today is our dear friend Margaret Lakes Birthday and I wanted to take the time to tell her how much she means to us and tell y'all the story of how we met.

Margaret was the second and last wedding photographer we interviewed before we got married about 5 years ago. As soon as we left we knew she was the one we wanted to take our wedding photos. She was very friendly and her work was amazing. She is a documentary style photographer, meaning she wouldn't just get a few posed shots but would capture the whole day of our wedding and the pictures would be able to tell the story of that day for years to come.

The day of our wedding she got there early to get pictures of me getting ready. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do and she said you can do whatever you want, just be yourself. So after that I just got ready and did what I would normally do. I didn't even notice she was there. In fact after our wedding I told Jason I don't think Margaret got pictures of this moment or that one because I didn't see her, but sure enough when we saw the pictures she got everything and much more than I would have hoped for. Our pictures are amazing and every time I look at them I remember exactly what I was feeling at that moment in time.

Then when Kenya was about 8 months old we have family pictures done to celebrate Jason's brother, Uncle Toe Toe, graduating from college. Again she was amazing and we loved the pictures.

Fast forward to 2008 when we found out about Melody and Madison being conjoined we started doing a ton of research. During that time we found out about an organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep it was a group of professional photographers who take pictures for families who have babies that are not expected to live all free of charge. We knew right away this was something we wanted to do. We wanted our moments with Melody and Madison documented and I also didn't want Jason or I to have to worry about taking pictures. I wanted us to be able to love on our girls without thinking about anything else.

The more I thought about it though the more I realized I didn't really want a stranger sharing these moments with us I wanted someone I knew and trusted. So I emailed Margaret and told her all about the twins then I told her all about Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I explained to her that I couldn't imagine anyone else taking these pictures and asked her if she would be willing to do it. Without hesitation she said yes.

When we found out we would be delivering Melody and Madison I was really nervous about having the pictures taken, I'm not sure why. I called Margaret and told her we would be delivering that day sometime around 6pm I told her she didn't have to come right away if she didn't want to but with in a hour she was there. I was so thankful she came right up there I may have chickened out and not had them taken if she didn't. I was so glad she was there she was able to capture the moments we had with our friends and family before the girls were born. She was able to take pictures of us getting their clothes ready and our family and friends praying for us after we went into the OR. She took pictures that mean the world to me of moments I would have never gotten to see while I was in surgery. She was there while our friends and family got to meet the girls. Margaret was such a blessing to have there. She became not only a friend but a part of our family that day.

She took family/pregnancy pictures of us a few weeks before Judah was born. Again she out did herself.

After we had Judah, Margaret and her family came up to meet him. It was so neat to get to introduce her to our son. She was so sweet and took pictures of him at the hospital. I will share those at the end of this blog post.

So that is how we met and got to know our amazing friend/ photographer Margaret Lake.

Margaret, We love you dearly and we are so thankful God allowed us to be a part of each others lives. You have been there for us in our happiest and saddest moments and we are so blessed by the gift you have been to our family. I hope you have a great birthday and I hope you know how much you are loved!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love,
Jason, Vanessa, Kenya and Judah

And now for your viewing pleasure the pictures Margaret took at the hospital.

Jason's Dad (Papa T) holding Judah.

Kenya being silly

Uncle Toe Toe

And one of the many faces of baby Judah

blogger wont let me up load anymore pictures so I put the rest in a picasa album go check them out HERE

Our Christmas Letter 2009

JOY TO THE WORLD!

Hello everyone we thought it would be fun to blog a Christmas letter this year instead of printing a ton out and putting them in the Christmas cards. I realized when I was about half way through with our Christmas cards that I was writing check out our Christmas story on our blog (instead of writing check out our Christmas letter) haha!

This past year has been very bitter sweet for our family. As we continued to mourn the loss of Melody and Madison, God continued to show us His faithfulness. People always say you guys are so strong how do you do it and my reply is always the same, we are not strong at all the Lord is the one carrying us through this. It has gotten easier as time has gone on but we will never forget our girls. We delight in knowing that they will be made whole in Heaven.

We found out in May of this year that we are expecting our 4th child. We are waiting until the baby is born to find out if it is a boy or a girl and we are waiting to share baby's name until after the baby is born. You wont have to wait long though I should be delivering the first or second week in January.We can't wait to meet this baby!


Kenya is doing great, I can't believe she is three now; time has just flown by! She is so excited to meet the new baby in fact she has taken it upon herself to name the baby. She chose to name the baby after her grandfather's cat whom she loves very much. The name she has chosen for our sweet baby is... Jealous! Haha she cracks us up. She has no clue being jealous is a bad thing, she just loves that cat and it's name and decided to call her baby brother or sister that. So we now all call the baby Jealous. I'm not sure what she is going to think once the baby is born and we tell her the real name. She also got 2 puppies for her birthday this year from my Mom but 2 was too many so we gave one back to my Mom. Kenya is the proud "Mommy" to one puppy now whom she named... Jealous. Yes our dog and baby have the same name :)

(we still have the black puppy)

As most of you know my little sister Destinee has lived with us for the past 3 years. We love her so much and it was such a blessing getting to watch her grow up. She has wanted to move back in with our (mine and her) Mom for a while so after much prayer and working out details she moved in with my Mom and Step Dad at the beginning of this school year. They live right down the street from us so we still get to see her a lot. It has been really neat to watch her relationship with my Mom be restored. She is a sophomore this year and just got her drivers license. I can not believe she is old enough to drive, in fact Destinee and I went to the store last night and she drove.

(Kenya, our (mine and Destinee's) Mom and Destinee.
I told her I was going to use this for the blog and that's how she posed)

Jason and I are doing great. We have been married for almost 5 years (I can hardly believe that)! Marriage has taught me so much over the last 5 years but this year I have learned more than ever what a joy it is to serve my family. I am so thankful that God has blessed me by allowing me to be married to Jason. I love spending time with my husband and I pray we would never take our time together for granted.


And the angel said to them [the shepherds],

"Fear not, for behold,
I bring you good news of great joy
that will be for all the people.

For a unto you is born this day
in the city of David
a Savior, who is Christ the Lord..."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host
praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among
those with whom He is pleased!”
- Luke 2

We as a family desire to live to the glory of God, and we do this because we are convinced this is the best way to get the highest joy, indeed it is the very purpose we are created for... for God's glory. Like anything that makes people happy, we want to share it with you. Rather than reinvent the wheel I thought I would give you the words of one who has already said what we are wanting to share (from "Quest for Joy"):

Did you know that God commands us to be glad?

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

1) God created us for his glory

"Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth,... whom I created for my glory" (Isaiah 43:6-7)

God made us to magnify his greatness - the way telescopes magnify stars. He created us to put his goodness and truth and beauty and wisdom and justice on display. The greatest display of God's glory comes from deep delight in all that he is. This means that God gets the praise and we get the pleasure. God created us so that he is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

2) Every human should live for God's glory

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).

If God made us for his glory, it is clear that we should live for his glory. Our duty comes from his design. So our first obligation is to show God's value by being satisfied with all that he is for us. This is the essence of loving God (Matthew 22:37) and trusting him (1 John 5:3-4) and being thankful to him (Psalm 100:2-4) It is the root of all true obedience, especially loving others (Colossians 1:4-5).

3) All of us have failed to glorify God as we should

"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

What does it mean to "fall short of the glory of God?" It means that none of us has trusted and treasured God the way we should. We have not been satisfied with his greatness and walked in his ways. We have sought our satisfaction in other things, and treated them as more valuable than God, which is the essence of idolatry (Romans 1:21-23). Since sin came into the world we have all been deeply resistant to having God as our all-satisfying treasure (Ephesians 2:3). This is an appalling offense to the greatness of God (Jeremiah 2:12-13).

4) All of us are subject to God's just condemnation

"The wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23).

We have all belittled the glory of God. How? By preferring other things above him. By our ingratitude, distrust and disobedience. So God is just in shutting us out from the enjoyment of his glory forever. "They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction and exclusion from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might" (2 Thessalonians 1:9).

The word "hell" is used in the New Testament twelve times¹—eleven times by Jesus himself. It is not a myth created by dismal and angry preachers. It is a solemn warning from the Son of God who died to deliver sinners from its curse. We ignore it at great risk.

If the Bible stopped here in its analysis of the human condition, we would be doomed to a hopeless future. However, this is not where it stops...

5) God sent his only son Jesus to provide eternal life and joy

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners..." (1 Timothy 1:15)

The good news is that Christ died for sinners like us. And he rose physically from the dead to validate the saving power of his death and to open the gates of eternal life and joy (1 Corinthians 15:20). This means God can acquit guilty sinners and still be just (Romans 3:25-26). "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring us to God" (1 Peter 3:18). Coming home to God is where all deep and lasting satisfaction is found.

6) The benefits purchased by the death of Christ belong to those who repent and trust him

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out" (Acts 3:19). "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved" (Acts 16:31).

"Repent" means to turn from all the deceitful promises of sin. "Faith" means being satisfied with all that God promises to be for us in Jesus. "He who believes in me," Jesus says, "shall never thirst" (John 6:35). We do not earn our salvation. We cannot merit it (Romans 4:4-5). It is by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). It is a free gift (Romans 3:24). We will have it if we cherish it above all things (Matthew 13:44). When we do that, God's aim in creation is accomplished: He is glorified in us and we are satisfied in him - forever.

Does this make sense to you?

Do you desire the kind of gladness that comes from being satisfied with all that God is for you in Jesus? If so, then God is at work in your life.

What should you do?

Turn from the deceitful promises of sin. Call upon Jesus to save you from the guilt and punishment and bondage. "All who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved" (Romans 10:13). Start banking your hope on all that God is for you in Jesus. Break the power of sin's promises by faith in the superior satisfaction of God's promises. Begin reading the Bible to find his precious and very great promises, which can set you free (2 Peter 1:3-4). Find a Bible-believing church and begin to worship and grow together with other people who treasure Christ above all things (Philippians 3:7).

The best news in the world is that there is no necessary conflict between our happiness and God's holiness. Being satisfied with all that God is for us in Jesus magnifies him as a great Treasure.

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Psalm 16:11)

- from "Quest for Joy"


Merry Christmas!

The Delgado's!

32 weeks pregnant

(I wrote this yesterday)

Hello all, today I am 32 weeks pregnant which is when I went into labor with our twin girls. It has kinda been a strange day. The more time goes by today the more sad I get. It is so strange because the times that "should be" hard really are not. Like the funeral (granted I was highly medicated) the girls one year birthday, and other things like these should have been hard but for some reason I was fine those days but today being as far along as I was when I delivered Melody and Madison I'm just an emotional wreck.

I think after I put Kenya in bed I will take some time to look at pictures and remember the girls. It's not that often that I get like this and when I do I really want to take time to remember Melody and Madison.

Oh and you will never believe I am bigger at this point then I was with the twins which makes me laugh. I love being pregnant and I love love love getting HUGE and I have done just that.

This has been such an easy pregnancy. At first I was scared of having a miscarriage and I really had to give that over to the Lord and rest in His sovereignty. Once I realized that I was pregnant but it was okay to do things it has made life so much easier. I have been nesting almost the whole time which has been great. I use to hate cleaning now I love it. I hope that feeling never goes away.

I remember when I was 31 weeks and a few days pregnant with Melody and Madison I went to the doctor and I was miserable! I was in a wheel chair because it hurt so bad to walk. I felt like my ribs were broken I couldn't sleep or breathe for that matter. I almost passed out every time I had a sonogram done because I had so much extra fluid it pushed up against my lungs when I lay down it cut off my air supply. I ended up delivering a few days later. It was hard when I delivered the girls but it was also a relief I didn't know how much more I could take physically.

This pregnancy (at 32 week) I feel great. I don't really even feel pregnant. I'm a little sore and it is getting a little harder to sleep at night but other than that I feel normal. I love getting to feel and see this baby moving. Kenya really enjoys it when the baby kicks her too, it has been really neat watching her interact with "Baby Jealous."

We set the delivery date for January 16th. I can't wait to see this sweet baby in 5 weeks. Can you believe that we are having a baby next month!

It really feels like I'm having my first child all over again. I can't wait to hold the baby and see Jason and Kenya hold the baby. I can't wait to do things a little differently this time. We had Kenya on a strict schedule if she was happy laying on the floor I wouldn't let anyone hold her and she fell asleep on her own in her bed from a very young age. This time I plan on doing more baby directed parenting meaning if the baby is hungry I'm going to feed it whether it has been 2 hours or not, I plan on rocking the baby to sleep and holding it as much as I can. I know this baby most likely wont be as easy as Kenya was but I'm looking forward to really enjoying the new born stage. It goes by way too fast and I can't wait to take it all in.

All of our family jokes that they are never going to be able to hold the baby because I'm going to have it all the time (and they are probably right... just kidding) I will share (for like 2-3 seconds at a time :) No really I am looking forward to showing our new baby off and letting everyone enjoy this sweet baby.

I'm excited we are delivering on a Saturday, all of our family and friends who want to come hang and wait for this baby to be born (I'm having a c section so there wont be a lot of waiting) will be able to do it.

I feel like that was a lot of random information but it's what I'm feeling tonight. I need to take a belly shot so you can see the HUGENESS of it but for now no picture is what you get :)

Have a great night!

Vanessa

Thanksgiving '09 (3 of 3)

...part 1...part 2...

Thanksgiving day after the Turkey Trot we went to Jason's Aunt Ana and Uncle Dan's house. We had a great time hanging with them and eating an amazing Thanksgiving lunch.

You may be wondering why Kenya is in her P.J's well she had three different layers on for the turkey trot and once we got to Ana's she wanted to keep the jamies and lose the rest so we let her. Kenya was in her jamies all day on Thanksgiving and I think that's a great way to be.

Kenya got a hold of the camera. This is Thanksgiving from the eyes of a 3 year old.

Here is Bianca Aunt Ana and Uncle Dan.

Jason, me and Marisa

This is the view from the top of the stairs.

Kenya and Bianca being silly.

Kenya loved hiding in Bianca's megaphone.

This is Kenya making one of her goofy faces.

While we were there I figured out how to get Kenya to have a normal smile for pictures. All I have to say is, "Smile like Marisa and Bianca!" It works every time :)

Marisa, Kenya (showing off her new smile) and Bianca loving being cousins.

We had such a great time celebrating thanksgiving with our families. We have so much to be thankful for there is no way I could list everything, but I will try :)

First I'm so thankful to God for salvation. What an amazing gift that I did nothing to deserve. I'm thankful that God blessed me with a husband that loves God more than me and loves me as Christ loved the church. I'm thankful that God blessed us with Kenya who brings me joy every day. I'm thankful God blessed us by allowing us to be Melody and Madison's parents. I'm thankful that through the death our our girls He taught us that He alone is sovereign and whatever the Lord ordains is right. I'm thankful that God alone sustained us during the trial He brought us to. I'm so thankful that through our girls life and death we are able to say with joy, "blessed be the name of the Lord who gives and takes away" (Job 1)! I'm thankful that God always provides for our needs. I'm thankful that God blessed us with an amazing family. I'm thankful that God brought us to our church. I'm thankful that God has allowed us to be Baby Jealous' parents and I can't wait to meet this sweet baby. I'm so thankful that God changed my heart and I now love taking care of my family. I'm thankful that I now enjoy keeping my house clean and I pray that would never change. I'm thankful that God has placed the desire in my heart to strive to be a Titus 2:4 woman. I'm thankful for good friends who will call me out if I'm in sin. I'm thankful for my doctor and the staff at the hospital we will be delivering at. I'm thankful that He who began a good work in me will complete it Philippians 1:6.

I pray you will all find joy in Christ and gives thanks to God for every good and perfect gift comes from Him James 1:17!

Vanessa

Thanksgiving '09 (2 of 3)

...continued from yesterday...

Thanksgiving morning we got up extra early to walk the Turkey Trot in memory of Melody and Madison. Jason and several of his family members did this last year in memory of all of the family that had passed on.

This is Jason pushing Kenya.She got so excited when she saw everyone running that she wanted to try it. Which only lasted a few minutes before she got tired and wanted back in the stroller.

Here we are at the end of the race. Our good friends the Sappingtons ran the Turkey Trot too. They were very kind and waited for us to finish so we could see each other.Our official time for walking a 5K (3 miles) was... One hour and 18 minutes. Hahaha! I laugh every time I think about it! I think that's pretty good though since I waddled most of the way.
To be continued tomorrow...

Vanessa

Thanksgiving '09 (1 of 3)

We had such a great thanksgiving this year! This was my first Thanksgiving to be pregnant and when I'm pregnant most of my day is spent eating. What a great time to be pregnant!

We got to enjoy three thanksgiving meals this year. We had a Thanksgiving Church Potluck the Sunday before Thanksgiving ... or should I say Church Pot-Providence since we don't believe in luck ;) . Then the night before Thanksgiving we had Thanksgiving dinner with my mom, step Dad, sister, uncle, cousins, grandmother and grandfather. And thanksgiving day we went to Jason's Aunt and Uncles house.

Kenya and I went a little early to my Mom's house Wednesday night so she could help my Mom cook... or eat?

She had so much fun making deviled eggs.

She stuffed them...

and licked them

and stuffed them again and served them to our family half eaten.

We got a special treat this Thanksgiving as my grandfather was able to join us. This was only the second time Kenya has been around him. They enjoyed coloring together.

This is Kenya making candied yams which turned into yam soup because she cut them up so much. She had fun and that's all that matters, well not really because I wanted candied yams but I am glad she had fun!

Kenya enjoyed taking food from Uncle Jack who was my FAVORITE person growing up.
It is so neat to get to watch my daughter interact with my uncle.

After we ate and had desert I walked in the kitchen and found Kenya eating all of the fudge.
I can't really blame her I would have done the same thing if no one was looking.

...part 2...part 3...

Vanessa

My Girls Funeral/Burial

I just posted on my Facebook my favorite pictures with memories from what happened this day last year, I've been meaning to do this for a year now, but it was just to hard to look at some of these pics before:

Melody Joy & Madison Hope's Funeral/Burial
November 17, 2008

Photography graciously done by Margaret Lake:
www.mlakephotography.com
Location: Sovereign Joy Community Church in Keller, TX.

soli Deo gloria!

jason d.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I just wanted to tell you all that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you have ever lost a baby due to miscarriage, still birth or if your baby died after birth today is a day for you to remember you baby/ babies and a day for us to pray for all the families who have lost little one.


Getting a positive result on a pregnancy test is such an exciting day. It's a day you know your family will be changed forever. You start wondering is it a boy or girl, when will I start showing, I can't wait for my first sonogram. It is a time filled with so much joy until you receive the news that will also change your life forever. You are told your baby no longer has a heartbeat or you are told that you baby most likely wont live long after birth or you deliver you baby who has already gone to be with Jesus.

All of these moments will change our lives forever.

I want you to know that God is good through it all. We may not ever fully know why these things happen other than they were for God's glory and our good. But you can all rest knowing that God is sovereign even over suffering.

I wanted to share with you guys some verses that really encouraged me after Melody and Madison died.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-4
A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death than the day of birth.
It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

Ecclesiastes 7:8-14

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning,
and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.
Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?”
For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.
Wisdom is good with an inheritance,
an advantage to those who see the sun. 
 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money,
and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.
Consider the work of God:
who can make straight what he has made crooked?

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

I will continue to praise God knowing He is sovereign over all things. If you have lost a baby please know that I am so sorry for your loss and I will be praying that God will comfort you as only He can.

Melody and Madison I will always remember and love you. I'm so thankful that God choose me to be y'alls Mother. I will always cherish the time God gave us with you guys!

21 Weeks 5 Days/ Nesting like crazy

Here I am September 30th 2009

21 weeks 5 days pregnant
38 inches
142 lbs

For a few days now I have had a HUGE urge to nest. It has taken over so I have given into this urge and I took pictures for you all to see.

The car seat and stroller are ready to go.
The diaper bag is packed yes packed with diapers, wipes, safety kit, plastic bags (for poopie diapers), well everything a normal diaper bag would have.

I have also pulled out a few boy blankets,
girl blankets and some neural ones.

Boy clothes, girl clothes and neural ones are ready!

Diapers, wipes and other necessity's have all been purchased and are ready to be use.
We are completely ready at this point to bring the baby home from the hospital. The only problem is I still have three and a half months to go. When I think about the fact I have done everything that needs to be done I laugh because that's just crazy, right?

I think a lot of the reason I have has this urge is because I didn't get to do this for Melody and Madison. Of course we bought them a few outfits and bows but we never knew if we were going to get to bring them home. So for me to get to plan for a baby is beyond exciting!

Of course I know that we are never 100% guaranteed that we are going to get to bring the new baby home but so far everything looks good and we are praising God for that!

I look forward to whatever the Lord has in store for our family and I so glad that we can share it with all of you!

Vanessa