Thursday, November 13, 2008

A glorious, painful, wonderful day

I just wanted to start out be saying thank you all so much for all the kind words yall left on our comments, the scriptures and prayers were such a huge blessing. We know that God is being glorified through this and we are blown away by His sustaining grace during this time.

I wanted to share with everyone the events leading up to Melody and Madison's birth and all the events the day of their birth.

It all started on November 9th I was having contractions all day about 10 an hour which normally would be alarming but was normal for me because of all the extra amniotic fluid. My doctor told me to expect contractions like that but if they got painful to come in.

So onto Sunday night I had contractions all night strong ones that woke me up. This has never happened before so I started getting a little concerned. I decided that I would see what happened on Monday the 10th and wouldn't you know I have some pretty strong contractions that day as well. I didn't want to go to the hospital because I thought they we still just Braxton Hicks contractions. So I decided to go to bed and if they kept me up all night again then we would come to the hospital to be monitored. Do you notice a pattern here I think I'm a doctor : ) So Monday night I had contractions all night again they got so bad I finally just got up at 4am and took a shower and a bath trying to relax. Well it worked and my contractions had slowed down a ton. I had already said I would go to the hospital if they kept me up all night but now they were few and far between. At this point Tuesday November 11th I decided to quit playing doctor and see what my doctor wanted me to do. So I called and of course he wanted me to go to the hospital to be monitored. I felt so stupid for going because my contractions were not that bad anymore. My sweet husband reminded me that I call the doctor and they wanted me to come in I should not feel stupid about that.

When we got to the hospital much to our surprise the same nurse was working that took care of us two weeks ago when we came. I think her name is Ashley I will find out and tell you for sure later. She is the sweetest person and I was so thankful that she would be taking care of me.

She got me all hooked up to the monitors and I was still having consistent contractions every other one was stronger. So she checked me at about 1:00 pm and I was dilated to a 3 and 50% ephased. I couldn't believe it i was devastated. We were only 32 weeks along and I really wanted to make it to 36 weeks. She waited about an hour and checked me again I was dilated to a four. At that point my doctor called me and we talked for a few minutes about what the plan would be and he told me that we would be delivering that day. I lost it over the phone I couldn't even get words out of my mouth. I love my doctor he was so sweet he just kept saying I'm so sorry about this.

I asked Ashely (the nurse) why wouldn't they try to stop my labor. She said if I wasn't in active labor that there were some things they could do to stop it but since I was in active labor there was nothing they could do. My body just thought it was time to deliver. I'm glad she explained that to me.

So next about 3:00 pm they moved me up to labor and delivery and checked me again I was now at a 5 and 70% present ephased. I will have you all know I did not have any pain meds until we got into the OR. I was so excited that I was able to labor with no pain meds. If you remember we started off the pregnancy using a midwife and wanting a home birth. So that was a huge blessing from God that I got to labor and feel the contractions. My water wasn't broken so they weren't too painful but still I'm sure you all get the point. Oh and if your looking for a good midwife in the DFW area check out Ann's website she is such a sweet person and has been delivering babies for a long time. http://gentlebeginningsbc.com/about/faqs.htm

Our family and a few close friend started showing up around 4pm they helped time to pass by pretty quickly. The Photographer that we used at our wedding came to take pictures for us. It was so amazing because Jason and I could just be in the moment and not have to worry about missing anything. Margaret (our photographer) got to the hospital and stayed with us until around 10 so that she could also get pictures of Jason parents with the babies, they got into town around 9pm. She did this all for free and every time I would tell her thank you she would say don't think me I'm just serving the Lord. Margaret thank you so much for everything I know that you were serving the Lord by taking those pictures but you will never know how much that meant to us! We love you and truly appreciate it! Here is her website http://mlakephotography.com/ if anyone needs a GREAT photographer. She is working on the picutes now but I can't wait to get them and put some on the blog.

My older sister Brandi wasn't planing on coming into town until Saturday but a close friend of her husband's family had died she she drove into town early to be with his family. Please be praying for his family. God providential hand was at work through this whole day and pregnancy. That was such a huge blessing for both of us that she was able to be here.

Through out the coarse of the day all the doctors came to see us to make sure we were all on the same page as far as the delivery and we were.

I was so scared of having a csection I have thought about it for the last 13 weeks. I kept telling Jason there has got to be some other way we can get them out. Of course there wasn't though.

At about 6pm they took me back to the OR and started prepping me for surgery. The spinal hurt pretty bad but they put this new pain med into my spine and it's lasts for 24 hours. Can you believe that? I didn't feel any pain from the surgery until about 12 hours later and even then I wasn't bad. I didn't get more pain meds until about 10 the next morning. Oh and the best part is that it doesn't go to your head so I was alert the whole time.

So I'm numb at this point they brought Destinee (my 15 year old sister that we have custody of and Jason into the OR. She wants to be a NICU nurse so this was a big deal to her that she got to be in there. She watched to whole thing. I didn't even know that they had started until she told me. Which was good because I was so scared that I was going to feel it but I didn't even know he had started until they were half was done.

She was so cute she was giving us a play by play. She was saying this is the coolest thing ever, oh they are pulling them out, oh they are so cute.

As soon as the babies came out at 6:24pm Jason and Destinee went over to the warmer to see and take pictures of them. I forgot to tell you remember the nurse Ashley that took care of us earlier in the day well she surprised us and was able to be in there for the delivery. It's crazy how fast you can form a bond with someone in such a short amount of time. Thank you Ashley you were a huge blessing. She stayed with me while Jason and Destinee were looking a the babies. I asked the hardest question that I have ever asked in my life "are Melody and Madison alive?" She said "yes and they are moving around." I couldn't believe it they came out alive! The girls lived for about and hour and peacefully God took them home. That was such a huge answer to prayer we wanted to spend time with them while they were alive. They stayed with us the whole time.

Once we got back to our room the nurse brought Kenya in to see them. She was so cute and sweet with the girls. She knew just who they were. She kept saying "Melody and Madison they stuck together." Then she was saying "oh they so cute" and she told them on her own I love you. Right away she started singing the Melody Madison song it goes like this...
Melody Madison clap clap clap
two little babies joined together
Melody Madison clap clap clap
two little babies joined together.

It was so cute!

Jason, Destinee, Kenya and I spent some time with the babies and then we let the family and friends come in a few at a time. I wasn't sure if we were going to let anyone hold them but we did. It helped me a lot to see other people loving on them I know it helped our families to get to say good bye.

The nurse we had after the babies were born was so wonderful you could tell she had dealt with parents losing their child before. She included Destinee in everything. They gave them a bath together, did their feet and hand prints, put on diapers and got them dressed.

After Jason's parents and brother Uncle Toe Toe got to spend some time with them we decided it was time to let Melody and Madison go (meaning leave our room). We asked everyone to step out of the room so it was only Jason, Destinee, Kenya, Melody and Madison. Next was one of the hardest parts of the day we let Kenya hold them and we explained to her that Melody an Madison were not going to be coming home with us, that they went to live with Jesus and this was the last time we were going to see them here on this earth, but when we get to heaven that they would be there worshiping God. What an amazing thing to be in heaven no pain, no sickness, just worshiping God. He is so worthy of our praise! BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!

After that Destinee and Kenya went back to our house with Rose, Tony and Uncle Toe Toe. They are going to stay with us for a while to help out around the house, and with Kenya.

So next to the second hardest part of the day we paged the nurse and told her we were ready for her to take them. After that both Jason and I lost it. We just held each other and cried our eyes out for a while. Then we were ok God just gave us a peace that passes all understanding. We were both able to fall right to sleep after that.

Although yesterday was one of the saddest days of my life it was also one of the most amazing days of my life. I can't even think of a way to put into words what it felt like to be comforted by the Lord. God is so good and although our babies are no longer with us God answered so many prayers along the way.

Glory be to God alone!
Vanessa Delgado

(blogger wouldn't let upload any pictures I will see of Jason can add some once he wakes up)

38 comments:

Jennifer said...

I ended up on your site from links from one site to another. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your girls but I am so encouraged by the blessing of your testimony through their short little lives and beyond! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I will be praying for your family as God brings you to mind!

Jennifer

Rhonda said...

Wow! Reading your story just amazes me. I am a mother of twins also and your story has really touched me. Your faith is awesome.. what a testimony you have. I cannot even imagine going through this. Your sweet daughters have already touched so many lives. God knew he was giving them to be born into such an amazing family. May God continue to provide you with peace that passes all our understanding and may he bless your family for putting your complete faith in him. Thanks for sharing your story. You are truly an inspiration!

Chris and Emily said...

Hi! I am saddened for you loss and rejoicing for their now wholeness in the arms of Jesus.
I wish I had found your website sooner but am happy to have found it now.
praying for you as these next days, weeks, and months pass by.
Thank you for sharing your sweet girls with us and allowing us to be a part of the amazing things that God is doing.

junior said...

I love you all so much!

I praise our God with you; And I praise Him for you!

I have been blessed by all of you; I am thankful to Him for bringing you all in my life.

Truly He is great, and greatly to be praised!

Renee Ann said...

I've said a prayer for you every time Junior twittered about you. I'm sure many people have. Bless your hearts... what bitter sweetness.

Michelle said...

Jason and Vanessa,
Y'all have been in our prayers for so many months now, I just want you to know that we feel like we "know" your family. You will continue to be in our prayers as the Lord gets you through these hard days.

While we are so saddened by the loss of your beautiful girls, we too, are rejoicing that they are happy and whole, worshiping the one, true, living God!

Margaret said...

I'm so excited to share the photos of the day with you & the whole family. I appreciate your kind words & the way you & everyone treated me like family, too, instead of someone invading in on your privacy. It helped me get the most beautiful & intimate shots. I'll never forget the time I spent with everyone, including the girls. It really was one of the most profound experiences of my career and life - that sounds like an exaggeration, but it's not, I truly mean that. Love you guys, too! May God continue to bless you all.

Steph and Mitch T said...

Jason and Vanessa,
I linked to your blog through another, so I'm a complete stranger (but a sister in Christ!). I wanted to thank you for sharing your beautiful moments with us. Your story is absolutely amazing. I am SO touched by God's awesomeness magnified through you. You are in my prayers!

Allison & Pete said...

We love you and your family so much! You and Jason and Kenya and Destinee are so important to us. I hate that we don't see a lot of eachother cause you are such a ray of sunshine. My heart is sooo heavy over your loss but God is sooo good and continues to help heal my heart over this and give us all comfort and peace. How amazing that they had such an important job to do and have already fulfilled their purpose. They touched the lives of hundreds, maybe more...brought a congregation to it's knees in prayer...perhaps have even brought some people back to God through their story...maybe even helped heal the hearts of those who have lost a child...and even opened the hearts and lives to those who don't know anything about special needs babies. THere are probably so many more wonderful things they have accomplished that we will never know. Your faith has touched us all! What a wonderful and beautiful thing that they are now where we all aspire to be one day! They are in their whole perfection that God has designed for them, beautiful, and rejoicing with His angels and all our other loved ones who have passed before us. Praise God!!! You have no more worries or fears for them! what an amazing and wonderful gift!!! Blessed be the name of the Lord! We are all here for you to grieve and to celebrate!! We love you all so much!!!

LOve, Alliosn & Pee & the girls

Stephanie Rohloff said...

I love you!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord! How glorious it will be in Heaven to meet and see these two amazing little girls that touched so many hearts and encouraged so many believers to an even greater understanding of our Heavenly sovereign Father!
Thank you for posting this post Vanessa...you are a strong amazing woman of God. A true woman after God's own heart!

Misty*Dawn said...

Vanessa, I am so amazed at your strength. God is soooo awesome and wonderful! Thank you for sharing this with us. We feel such a bond with your family and are greatly touched by you and your strength at this time. I am so thankful that God has allowed me and my family to get to know you and your family over the past few months. We love you all so much though we have never met and may never meet on this earth, WE WILL meet in Heaven! Thank you again. May God continue to strengthen and bless you so that you will continue to be a blessing to others around the world! We love you all so much!
The Bryant's

noahandlylasmommi said...

Here I am balling my eyes out in front of my kids!!! I am so touched by your story. I have been checking your blog non stop for updates. I am so glad the day unfolded gloriously and you had so many people to support you. Here are a few verses I found in a book I have been reading called " An empty cradle, A full heart". You came to mind when I read them...

Matthew 11:28- Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

1 Corinthians 10:13- No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.


You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Wish I was closer so I could give you a big hug!

Linda Martin said...

Jason and Vanessa,

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Melody and Madison are so sweet and beautiful; you have allowed them to fulfill God's purpose and to give Him glory.

I am a pediatrician, and as I read your blog entry, I was saying things like, "yes, go to the hospital." Then I was wondering where you were delivering in DFW so that they could get the care they would need, then I started weeping that they only had an hour to live with you here. But He has knit us together and knows the end from the beginning. And I think the verse you posted from Job says it best.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much your story has touched me! I'm so sorry for your lost, but I have no doubt in my mind that this was God's will. Melody and Madison are so beautiful and like you said, more alive now than you and I are. You are truly an inspiration of faith and courage. Your testimony has touched me and my family. I've kept them up, haha!! We have been praying for you and will continue praying. I've laughed, cried, renewed my faith and so much more with you! You really are an example of unconditional love and faith! God bless you all and much love!

Linda Brill (Karina Castro's sis in law)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful children. However, as a grandmother who's lost grandchildren, I can tell you what a wonderful gift you gave your daughters' grandparents by letting them hold them. It is something they will always remember.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. We will be praying for all of your family. The greatest thing is that you have complete trust in God. If there is ever anything you need let us know.

Matthew Sides

Lauren said...

Hey guys! I thought I might share some good music with you that I felt relevant. I was listening to this last night and it just made me think of you.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=230016088


Love you, Lauren

E said...

I just stumbled across your blog and wept with you. We do serve an awesome God! Have you heard of "String of Pearls"? They minister to the families that go through what you've just been through.

Blessings for you and your family! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelly Robinson said...

To all the Delgado Family,
Most of you I don't know personally. I know Rose through Cheer. I just read about your beautiful babies and as the tears fall I am amazed and touched by your faith, your strength, and the love you share as a family. I believe that families can be together forever and I know with a surety that you will see your daughters again someday. Your love of God and faith in Jesus Christ are an example to all. He lives, and when the burden becomes more than we can bear, we can lay it at His feet and he will carry it for us. I believe you have experienced that and again, am touched and influenced by your faith. I have you in my prayers and pray for the Lord's choicest blessings upon your family at this time. Thank you for sharing your faith with me.

Kelly Robinson
Nuevo Casas Grandes
Chihuahua Mexico

Melissa said...

Thanking you for sharing your story with all of us... Melody and Madison are just beautiful!! You were so blessed by God to be able to spend an hour with your sweet babies...that will be an hour you will NEVER forget!! Your family is in my prayers as go through this grieving process!!

curt chadwick said...

i lose it every time i think of MnM

this could be a real problem because i have to work this weekend and nobody wants to see their pilot crying.

Love you guys.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time."

Claire said...

I came here yesterday and saw the beautiful pictures of your girls, and my heart just aches for you and your family. Praise God, they are Home with Him, but gosh it must hurt, and I am so sorry. Sending prayers up for you.

Claire said...

Sorry to post again. I went to Margaret's site and she has a picture of the girls there. It dawned on me - God allowed them to be born in each other's arms, and then straight to His. Oh gosh, I am crying my eyes out here...

Louanne said...

The post above from Claire made me loose it again. I was already tearing up, but what a beautiful visual picture she painted of your sweet girls. We will continue to keep you in our prayers. God will use this in ways that your family can never imagine.

Louanne
(friend of the Rohloff's)

Patty said...

Delgado Family,

Thank you for sharing such a private and intimate moment of your lives with us. You have truly touched my life. Your girls are beautiful and couldn't have had better parents. A new faith has overwhelmed me, and a deeper love for my children has overcome me. I admire your strength. God keep you in his hands and care for you. Rose and Tony, your cheer family her in El Paso are with you, do not hesitate to ask for anything you might need. Our prayers and thoughts are with you all. You are all such an inspiration.

Love
Patty Larkins

Emily said...

I linked to your blog from 4 little men blog... I read some of it yesterday and my heart broke for your family. I came back today and read the updates- and my prayers are with your family. Just as I was finishing reading the update, as tears streamed down my face, the song "Yours" from Steven Curtis Chapman came on. What a reminder that everything is God's- even our children. Steven wrote a new verse to the song after his daughter died last spring- if you haven't heard it- I would recommend getting it from I-tunes.

I will continue to pray for your family as you deal with all that has happened. What hope to know though that God is still on the throne- and your babies are more alive then ever in Heaven.

Kristen said...

I ended up on your blog from a friend's advice. I've never been s touched. The pictures of the girls arebeautifl. Praise God for his amazing blessings. Thank you for sharing your story, I will never be the same after reading it.

Joel said...

Vanessa,

I can only imagine what you must have felt throughout the whole thing. Your faith has definitely been an anchor for your soul in this time. Soli Deo Gloria indeed!

Laura Allison said...

My friend Joel directed me to your blog. Let me just say that you are an amazing family to be taking this all in stride like this. I am a mother of two - and I just can't imagine going what you're going through and having the strength and faith and peace and hope that you have! What a beautiful testimony! I don't personally know you, but I want you to know that my family will be praying for yours. Blessings on all of you as you go through this time, and may the peace of God be upon you as your journey through your pain. Thank you for inspiring and touching me with your story, your passion, and your love for Jesus.

Glenn Dearborn said...

Vanessa and Jason I am praying you have the peace of our Lord Jesus with you through these days. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know they are sitting with the Lord on High and worshipping and praising Him like you said. You two have inspired sooo many with your faith and have inspired me. I pray the comfort of Jesus on your lives. God Bless you both and your family.

Dawn said...

I also linked to your blog from your comment on 4 Little Men...

Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience so candidly, from the beginning, through all the bad news and good news during your pregnancy, and through this glorious, painful, wonderful day. You have been inspiring, and you have allowed God to work through you, and your wonderful husband, and your beautiful baby girls (all FOUR of them!) for His glory. It must be so difficult to let go of two of your babies. But you are teaching us that we can do anything if we lean on our Savior, because you are doing that worst version of "anything" right now, and through God's grace and comfort you will come through. God bless you, and God be with you, and you will continue to be in my prayers.

Dawn

Elizabeth said...

your post is one of the most beautiful and courageous I've ever read...and brought me to tears. your strength is so God-filled & God-centered. Thank you...

Anonymous said...

Jason and Vanessa
I am just grateful that you let us all in to your lives and watch God work miraculously on your behalf and for His glory. I too have never met you and may never, this side of Heaven but feel so much like you were part of our family. My husband and I have been and will continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you again for allowing us to see how God works in the lives of His children for we each do not know what will be required of us in this life... with much love, Angela in Hershey Pa

Emily said...

You are incredible. As a mommy who sent her baby girl home to Jesus sixteen months ago, I know that peace that you're talking about and how it feels to be comforted by the Lord. I want you to know that His presence shines in your face in those pictures. Hard days will come and sorrow will, too... but it will never, ever outweigh the joy of having known your sweet girls. Your God will be the same next year as He was in that delivery room and as He is now. I think of your precious girls arriving home in Heaven and how Jesus must have knelt down to them, taken their precious faces in his hands and said, "Well done, Melody! Well done, Madison! What good and faithful servants you are!" :) What a blessed time.

I will be praying for your broken hearts as they heal, for a long time to come. You won't believe how much your girls taught you and you'll still be discovering years from now. Their time here was short, but their legacy will be long.

Thank you for being used in such a powerful way by the Lord. I praise Him for your sweet family. All three of your girls are beautiful! :)

Kelley Lynn said...

You dont know me but I found your site through my good friend Stephanie Morales, and have been following your story. Just wanted to tell you that Melody and Madison are so beautiful and I truly admire your courage and strength. You made their short lives matter and they know that they are loved. My thoughts are with you, Kelley

Anonymous said...

We just spent the morning with the Delgado family through your website. We are deeply touched and inspired by your faith, courage and genuine sweet and tender love of life eternal. Our blessings, prayers and praise. Love, Judy and Cindy in El Paso

Dee said...

I just found your blog and you are such an amazing woman! I am so proud of you. My heart breaks for you and my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

I just finishing reading your blogs and I admire you all so much, I never met you guys or even live in the same state but I feel like I have had the chance to know you through this blog. You helped me put things in perspective in my own life. I just found out some health news about my mother and I didn't know how to deal with it, I thought I gave it to God to handle but after reading your blog I know I didn't even come close to doing that. Now I am ready to glorify God no matter what happens. Thank you so much for sharing your life.. oh one more thing we do have one thing in common when I was 21 years old my husband and I had custody of my 15 year old brother in law. He is now 25 and we have such a bond because we raised him. He always tells us how gratefull he is.
your in my prayers.. love always Isabel Lebron