Saturday, February 28, 2009

Flash Back Friday - Sonogram Bad News

(Well, it is technically Saturday morning, but this isn't going to be a traditional "Flash Back Friday" anyways. This one will be a little more serious.)

Today we flash back to the most recent Friday,...yesterday.

As I was driving to my pastors house to prepare for that evenings worship service, I got a text from my wife informing me of some news from our very close personal friends (I won't disclose their names) who are expecting a child. The news was simply,...

"They can't find the heartbeat."

"No,...no,...no,....O God No!", I said, as tears began to well up in my eyes all I could do is start crying out to God for them, "Lord please let that medical equipment be wrong, let that little baby inside her be healthy, with a heartbeat,...O GOD PLEASE!"

At that point, like a flood, all the emotions came back of all those sonograms we had when the doctors could only tell us that our twins Melody & Madison would not live.

Another text message from my wife,...

"She is waiting to have a sonogram."

Again, I relived so many emotions of times we would have a checkup, expecting this time for the news to get better in some way,...but every time the news from the doctors would get worse and worse. Woe upon woe. I remember the frustration and hopelessness that wanted to build up as time went on. I am thankful that is led to trust more and more in God, knowing that humans could do nothing to help, so I had to fully trust in God.

As I was practicing a worship song for that night, another text,...

"She had a miscarriage."

Devastated, I dropped my guitar, I thought of my close friends and what they must be feeling right now. I didn't know if I should call them and tell them I knew how they were feeling, or should I just leave them alone and let them mourn. I was afraid of saying anything stupid or wrong. Thankfully there was 3 other Christians with me, they stopped what they were doing and we each prayed for this couple, many times with tears and pain in our voice, then sang songs of worship to the God of all comfort, the God who works all things (even things like this) together for the good, for those that love God, and are called according to His purpose. A God who gives and takes away, and it all comes from His loving hand.

I was brought great comfort when we got to church last night and had worship. I picked songs that brought me great comfort during my trial, song that I needed to hear still as I was reliving so many emotions I thought I had been finished going through. Emotions I had from losing two children.

With all that was going on in my head, I had a very hard time focusing on my pastors message last night. But I remember him saying that we are just one moment away from a life changing event. How true this is,...and in light of this he encouraged us that need to be prepared for anything that might come our way,...especially tragedy.

Friends (this specific couple), I am so so so sorry for your loss, and am thankful that you are Christians who hope in God. I pray this trial, appointed by God, would cause you to cling closer to each other and closer to God. We weep and mourn with you,...with a living hope. Crying out together to our great God who is and will ultimately make all things right. He will wipe each tear away,...

Friends (blogging world), what is your hope in? What will you do when you are just going through your everyday life and you get a call, or a message that some life changing devastating event has happened? We are just one moment away from a life changing moment. We ourselves are just one moment away from death,...have you prepared for that? We are just one heartbeat away from standing face to face with the one true God, one moment away from judgment. How will you do on that day? Are you good enough to go to Heaven? Will you be found Innocent or guilty? What will you tell Him on that day?

4 comments:

EH said...

I'll be praying for your friends, and for you as you continue to mourn the passing of your little girls. My hope is in JESUS.

4 Little Men and Girly Twins said...

that last paragraph is so true... know God, trust God, live for God today!

britt

noahandlylasmommi said...

This post hit very close to home. I will be praying for your friends. The pain I felt when I found out our third babies heart had stopped beating is still so fresh in my heart and mind even though it was 9 months ago. Cant imagine what you guys go through on a daily basis.

Kara said...

I never feel good enough to stand/kneel before my God - every day I try - his grace and mercy will be enough to fill in the gaps.
I've had several miscarriages - an emotionally and sometimes physical process ...."Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted"
Your friends just need someone to mourn with them.
God Bless all of you - sweet and wonderful spirits - children of God!