It is only after Melody and Madison's death that I truly realized what a miracle life is. I have been on countless blogs of people who have lost their babies, it happens all the time. For a baby to make it to full term be healthy and nothing go wrong during or right after birth... I'm telling you it's a MIRACLE. I don't say that to scare you because God is sovereign and in control and worry will not do anything about it anyway. Just trust Him and know that God's ways are far better than ours! I was saying all that to say that life is a gift from God. Who can right now keep their own heart beating or create their next breath? No one can! If that doesn't prove that there has to be a creator holding it all together I don't know what does.
God alone is the creator, giver and taker of life (Psalm 139:13-16; Job 12:10) and it breaks my heart when I read on countless blogs how many times a doctors tell women to abort her pregnancy because their baby wont make it or has special needs. Are you kidding me!? God is the only one that knew if Melody and Madison were going to be born alive. And they were born alive and breathing. God is the one who allowed them to die. We did not take our babies lives! Even if our babies had been still born I would not have regretted the decision we made to give our babies a chance at life.
If you are reading this and you are a doctor please know that every woman is well aware of the fact that she can end her pregnancy but once you say that to a woman it bears so much weight with them. Instead of telling her to abort the baby why don't you refer her to String of Pearls a ministry that helps families who's babies may not make it.
If you are considering aborting your baby because something may be wrong with your child and you would rather end the babies life now before you bond with the baby please let me tell you that is the worst thing you could do. You are still going to mourn the loss of your baby, but on top of that you will be mourning the fact that you killed your baby. And that is something that you will live with for the rest of your life.
Please if you are considering abortion email me email@example.com so I can encourage you and cry with you. I would love to walk the road of a very difficult pregnancy with you. Please believe me when I say it was not easy to carry babies knowing that they most likely will not make it. There were days when I was in so much pain from all the extra amniotic fluid that I could barely walk and I would almost cry every night at the thought of going to bed because I knew it would be so painful to turn over at night. I couldn't hold my daughter, cook my family dinner or clean my house. It was a long and hard 13 weeks (13 weeks from the time we found out that they were conjoined) and there were times I would just think "I'm doing this for nothing... our babies are going to die." But let me tell you it was for a purpose.
Also, I really did enjoy my pregnancy. I know it's hard to believe that I could enjoy it with everything that was going on. But I loved feeling our babies move and telling people how far along I was, I loved it when my family and friends would put their hand on my belly and feel the babies move. You see, it was hard and I was in pain but there was life growing inside of me. Two lives that God created and chose to give to us because He knew we would love them just the way He created them. I'm so thankful that God heard my hearts cry and gave us twins. It may not have been what I expected but He answered my prayer and used our babies lives for His Glory.
The Lord did such amazing things through Melody and Madison's short lives. I want to share a story with you all that happened the day we were leaving the hospital.
It was November 15th and it was time to go home. As I watched Jason pack up all of our things I couldn't help but think, "We and not going home with every thing that we came here with." We were leaving behind the two most important things that we brought, our babies. I was on the verge of having a break down, I knew that as soon as we left the hospital everything was going to be different. I was fully prepared to have a very emotional departure from the hospital. I hate crying in front of anyone besides Jason and Destinee. I knew that very soon someone would be coming with a wheel chair to get me and all of our bags and flowers. I was prepared to cry my eyes out and have a moment that was all about me and how I was feeling at the time.
Finally the guy came with a wheel chair but not the right kind. He came with a regular wheel chair (not the huge one with all the room for all the bags and flowers that people bring you). I couldn't believe it! He said something like, "Oh sorry, they didn't have anymore of the other wheel chairs... let me go see if I can find one." I remember thinking to myself after he left. I can not believe him. Just because our babies died doesn't mean that people didn't bring us flowers. I was really having a very selfish and self consumed moment. I remember thinking, "Oh great! This is who is going to wheel us out... I'm not even going to be able to have this moment." And I so wanted this moment of just crying my eyes out as we left because here is this young guy trying to be funny with us. I was so mad and I wasn't sure why. I even remember talking to the Lord and saying, "...and I'm not going to witness to Him either." Can you believe that!?...
So he came back with the right wheel chair this time and was kinda joking around with us. He was a really sweet guy. So he wheeled me outside and we were waiting for Jason to go and get the car. Then he said to me, "Y'all are like a really young and hip couple, y'all are like only the 2nd young couple that I have ever taken care of and the other couple said they were part of the church." I thought to my self, "You have got to be kidding me! I just want to think about myself right now and not witness to this guy." (How sad is that!!!!)
Then it hit me this whole time Jason and I have said our greatest prayer was that God would be glorified through this no matter what happened to our babies. And here I was trying to make this about me when it wasn't about me it was about what God wanted to do through our babies lives.
So then I asked him the question, "What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?" He was kinda taken back by the question and said, "I think I will go to heaven." Then I asked him, "Why?" He said because he had done a lot of good things. He worked at the hospital and tried to help people when ever he could. So I asked, "Do you think the good out weighs the bad?" He said, "Yes." So then I told him our righteousness is as filthy rags to the Lord (Isaiah 64:6). The Bible also says that it's appointed to every person once to die and then judgment (Hebrews 9:27). So that would be like you taking all you good deeds before the Lord and saying here you go Lord look what I have done for you. He looks at your righteousness as filthy rags (meaning a dirty, bloody, nasty menstrual pad). There is no way that you could ever be good enough to get into Heaven. The Bible say's that there was none good but one and that was God (Matthew 19:17). The Bible also says that if we have broken one of the commandments that we have broken them all (James 2:10). So if you have ever lied then you are guilty of that and breaking the rest of the law (thievery, murder, ect...). The wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23). I asked him, "Do you know what God did so that we wouldn't have to go to hell, so that we could be saved?" He said, "He sent his Son." I said, "Yes, Jesus died on the cross (taking our place) and God poured out His wrath on Jesus (the wrath that our sins deserved) for all those who would repent (acknowledge, apologize, and turn from our sins) and put our trust (have faith) in Jesus for our salvation." I also said, "I know your young, so are we, but our babies just died a few days ago, they only lived for an hour." I told him, "You don't know when you will take your last breath, so please consider these things." Then Jason pulled up right after that.
I left the hospital knowing that this wasn't about us. This was about what God wanted to do through our babies lives to bring Him glory. I'm so blessed that God chose to give us Melody and Madison. Was it hard? Yes! But I wouldn't trade it for the world!
So that brings me to my next idea. We have already received emails and phone calls and talked in person to many who have shared amazing stories of how the Lord has used Melody and Madison's lives to bring Him so much glory. But we would like to hear from you too. If the Lord used the lives of our babies to touch your life, even it it was just that you were more grateful for your kids, please leave a comment or if you would like to send us an email that would be great also (firstname.lastname@example.org). We would love to hear all of your stories and in return all of you reading all of the comments I believe will bring so much glory to the Lord to see what He did through giving us conjoined twin baby girls who lived in my womb for 32 weeks and on this earth for an hour who will forever be safe in the presence of Almighty, Most Holy God.